Just Write

I need to write.

I've known since I was a child that all I wanted to do was write. The problem with that is writing is hard. Writing is shoving aside my perfectionist flaw, my need to be in control and know exactly what's going to happen one step at a time. Writing is just getting words out and not backspacing - something I am entirely incapable of. Writing is learning that making mistakes is okay, because they are for my eyes alone, and I can always go back and redo them (which will happen anyway - there is no such thing as a perfect draft).

I've read a lot on the career I'm looking at, and I'm past the excited, bright-eyed point. I'm past the illusion that 'all it takes is imagination'. I used to think that authors who answered their readers' questions of, "How do you become a writer?" with, "You don't give up. You just get the words out; it's okay if it stinks at first." were corny and irritating. But they're right. They're so right, and I see it more with each passing experience.

But the thing about writing is that, even though it's hard, it's something I'm willing to work at. I'm willing to spend the rest of my life being frustrated, exhausted, and disillusioned - just to get words out on paper. That sounds silly, but I guess that's enough proof that I can do it. I just have to make myself do it. I have to stop procrastinating. I have to take time to practice, even if I feel paranoid and unmotivated.

"Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it." - Anne Lamott